"Running Gives Me Freedom" - RTR Liverpool Leader - Danny Kazandis

I grew up in quite a rough neighbourhood in Peterborough with my family (my mum, brother and sister). As a family we were the centre of verbal/psychological and physical abuse for a number of years. Abuse that spiralled from a minor disagreement between children in a park, to eventually being granted an emergency move after our windows to our house was bricked. This meant I didn’t have the freedom to just play outside or walk to school or do all the things that children should be able to do and as my mum struggled financially and didn’t have a car, we couldn’t escape for a day out, we couldn’t go to the cinema or go out for a meal. The little things that I was envious of what other people could enjoy without any worries. I constantly feared for my life, let alone knowing how scared my mum must have been feeling, especially with raising three children alone, and to top it all being victim to years of bullying and physical assault. Even though we had moved away from that particular area, I still lived in fear every day and I hated living in a city where I never felt safe.

It had a huge impact on myself and my families mental health. I couldn’t sleep in my own room, if I woke up during the night I would run into my mum’s room and get into bed with her, as did my siblings. This went on into my early teen years and even today I still have anxiety before going to bed, (I can’t even count the amount of times I check that all the doors are locked).

The only freedom I had growing up was when we visited my Dad in Greece every summer, who unfortunately and quite suddenly passed away in 2011 when I was 17, In the same year I fell pregnant and later moved over 200 miles away from everyone I knew and at the same time having a new born baby while my partner was at university full time, I felt like my freedom was completely gone.

I started running a little bit after pregnancy but for the wrong reasons and it didn’t last long. I was so lonely and down all the time and although I didn’t understand those feelings, I knew they were there. I kept my feelings hidden for years which stemmed into social anxiety and disordered eating. It wasn’t until the beginning of 2018 that I sought out help for my mental health and started to actually enjoy exercise. One of the mum’s from my daughters school suggested we do a 10k (a distance that sounded SO scary), so we signed up and competed it and I absolutely loved it! The atmosphere and community feeling was something I hadn’t experienced before and I wanted more of it. This is when I started running more consistently and started feeling like I had freedom to do so, without feeling unsafe in my area, without the pressure to run because of my body image. I ran because it gave me a sense of power I never had, the power to leave my house and just ran in the fresh air without having to look over my shoulder. I don’t feel alone when I run, I feel safer than I have ever felt and I feel good. Running has given me so many opportunities in the last few years; I have made some of the most amazing friends, and | completed my first marathon last year.

I am so proud to be a RTR leader, something that was so hard for me to do, but I have my little community now and they probably don’t realise how much their time and friendships means to me. I now have freedom to live without fear of stepping outside of my own front door and I am so grateful everyday that I live in a place where I feel safe and valued as part of the community. The lady who invited me to that race doesn’t know how much her simple act of kindness has changed my life and I will be forever grateful for it. Keep sharing your stories, your kindness, your actions. They mean more than you think.

With love Danny x